I’m not lazy; I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.
I told my plants I’d stop overwatering them—they’re now in therapy.
I put the 'pro' in procrastination.
Running late is my cardio.
My bed and I are in a committed relationship—we just can’t seem to break up.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Some people dream of success, while I just dream of snacks.
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